


Without Regrets

by kinkyacewonho (butwordsareallineed)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, VLiev, start of relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8817532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butwordsareallineed/pseuds/kinkyacewonho
Summary: The whole time they're broadcasting, Minhyuk can't stop staring at Kihyun in bed next to him, wishing they were closer. He wants to kiss him. "What was it you said about living without regrets?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to sincerely thank the person who came up with the VLiev concept for blessing us with such Kihyuk cuteness. It gave me feels, then this happened.

Minhyuk pulls the blankets over his body, curling up and closing his eyes. If he lies still enough, he can almost pretend this is real, that Kihyun is actually in bed with him and not just for some broadcast on V App. He’s not sure who came up with the idea for idols to do broadcasts in bed together, and he doesn’t know if he loves them or hates them for it more.

Kihyun’s next to him, just on the other side of the bed, but it feels like oceans of space between them. Aside from a few stolen moments when Minhyuk adjusted Kihyun’s pajamas or Kihyun brushed something from the corner of Minhyuk’s lips, they didn’t touch the entire time. Minhyuk wants nothing more than to roll closer and pull Kihyun into his arms like he does sometimes when they share hotel rooms overseas, late at night, when he can pretend he’s half-asleep and doesn’t know what he’s doing. But there are cameras, and too many people watching who would immediately see through his intentions.

“Okay, that’s a wrap,” the man behind the camera calls out, and the illusion is broken. The broadcast is over, and Kihyun and Minhyuk get to go back to the dorm, where Minhyuk’s going to spend another night alone and wishing he was in someone else’s bed. He’s always been too tactile; he needs human contact to really sleep well, but their managers put a stop to that when they moved into the dorm with them.

Minhyuk sighs and opens his eyes, resigned to go back to reality, but his breath catches when he sees Kihyun’s staring at him, dark eyes fixed on Minhyuk’s face.

“What?” His voice comes out huskier than he intends, like he’s actually been asleep and just woke up.

Kihyun is quiet for several seconds, and then he looks away. Whatever he was searching for, he seems not to have found. “Nothing.”

In the background, Minhyuk hears their manager ask to speak to the cameraman for a minute, and his stomach tenses. He’s pretty sure that means he did something that looked too gay again, and the manager’s going to ask if they can edit it out before they upload the recorded footage online. Minhyuk will probably be punished for it, later, at the dorms.

The cameraman acquiesces to their manager’s request, and the two men leave the room to speak. Minhyuk definitely fucked up, he knows it then, but at this point, he’s too numb to really care. He’s going to slip up sometimes; he’s tired of having to hide.

“What was it you said about living without regrets?”

Kihyun’s voice calls Minhyuk’s attention, and he looks over. Kihyun’s staring again, and now they’re alone. His hair is pink and faded, bangs sweeping just across his dark brows, and Kihyun hates the color but Minhyuk thinks he looks beautiful, like a delicate candy prince. His lips are pink, too, and part of it’s from lip tint, but part of it’s just Kihyun.

He wants to kiss him. He could, and no one else would know.

“Um. I don’t remember exactly.” It hasn’t been that long since he said it, but there were other things on his mind during the broadcast. Like Kihyun.  

“Well...” Minhyuk’s mesmerized from just one word; Kihyun’s voice is magnetic to him. “There’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and it might be a huge mistake, but if I don’t do it now I’m going to regret it.”

Kihyun steals a glance at the door, and Minhyuk wonders what he’s thinking, what he could possibly want to do that he might regret. Kihyun leans towards him, and then they’re kissing, Kihyun’s mouth mashed again Minhyuk’s at entirely the wrong angle while Minhyuk just lies there, eyes wide with disbelief.

Kihyun’s face is flushed when he pulls away, matching the color of his hair, and he can’t meet Minhyuk’s eyes. “That was stupid and terrible, I’m sorry. Don’t hate me.” He reaches for the blanket, to push it back and escape the bed, but Minhyuk grabs his hand.

“No, wait.” Their manager and the cameraman are going to come back in any moment, but Kihyun’s more important. “Kiss me again. Please?”

Kihyun looks up, surprised. The kiss was terrible, and there’s no reason Minhyuk would say he wants another one unless he’d been thinking of it too. Kihyun wrests his hand from Minhyuk’s grasp, cupping the side of his face this time, and Minhyuk meets him halfway.

It’s still clumsy. Their noses bump and Kihyun’s hands are clammy on Minhyuk’s skin. Minhyuk’s had many kisses that were better, technically speaking, but that doesn’t stop him from wanting more of this, more of Kihyun.

The sound of footsteps in the hall startles them apart, and Minhyuk looks to the door, expecting their manager to enter and catch them in the act. Several seconds pass, and nothing. The doorknob doesn’t even rattle. They’re safe, for now.

“I wanted to kiss you during the whole show,” Minhyuk says, and Kihyun’s eyebrows quirk in surprise. Minhyuk nods, laughing a little. “Really.”

“Good,” Kihyun says, reaching for Minhyuk’s hand. He tangles their fingers together, and it’s a little awkward – Kihyun’s never been particularly good at handholding – but Minhyuk squeezes his hand to show how much he likes it. “Because I’ve been wanting to do that since our broadcast on the beach.”

That night, Minhyuk will do what he’s wanted to for a while, stealing into Kihyun’s bed when it’s somewhere between late night and early morning and everyone else is asleep. They’ll kiss more, and Kihyun will hold him, his lips tasting faintly of strawberry candy. When Hoseok wakes them the next morning, he won’t say anything, but Minhyuk will know he understands why he’s suddenly touchier with Kihyun, why Hoseok has to take over the role of waking everyone up when Kihyun stops getting up first in the mornings, and why Minhyuk is always found sleeping in Kihyun’s bed instead of his own.

They won’t regret it at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on twitter @kinkyacewonho


End file.
